Making Sweet Music Together

I've heard the euphemism making sweet music together in place of having sex. Until I started singing in the band Caleb's a member of, I never truly thought about that saying, though. Just like sex is an intimate and vulnerable act, to me, so is trying to be a backup singer in this band. That sudden vulnerability was making it difficult for my voice to mingle with all the other music being made in the band room.

I felt extremely nervous singing in front of these people I didn't know. More than nervous--nearly incapacitated. Thankfully, I am aware of my tendency to be afraid, and had recently decided to start saying, "yes" to things that peaked my interest. It just so happened that this personal resolve formed just shortly before Caleb asked me to be a back-up singer in the band. Though, my initial impulse was to hide behind a, "No", I pressed my lips together and nodded my head yes.

I didn't want to sit on the sidelines in my life, and this provided a wonderful opportunity for me to further connect with my husband. Fear, excitement, the desire to curl into a ball and hide, and the determination to be brave were at the forefront of everything as I prepared for the next band practice.  Fear and the determination to be brave were the winning emotions. At the practice, I was definitely outside of my comfort zone, and I felt extremely raw and vulnerable to be singing with these people.

I was definitely outside of my comfort zone, and I wondered why. I love to sing, and, truly, I'm pretty comfortable with being rejected. So, always a curious person, I did a quick internet search to learn about the effects of singing and listening to music together.

One study showed that when people listen to music together, their neurons get activated in sync with each other. Maybe I felt so raw and exposed at that first session because we had never listened to music together, previously. It makes sense to me, becuase I don't sing in the car with someone who's never listened to music with me, either.

Reading that article strengthened my resolve to stick with these band practices for a while longer. Which is good, because this little introvert was not prepared for the level of vulnerability that comes with being in a small room, with energetic people and instruments, working together to turn sound into music. With the panic attack that came later that night, I was ready to run for the hills. I'm not, though. I'm going to practice doing things outside of my comfort zone.