Observer

I think I'm at the point in my life where I observe people from a distance more than I get caught in their drama. I remember 19 years ago, and I was first in college. I had the charming notion of taking my books to the coffee shop on the main street. I'm sure I had that notion from constantly watching "Friends".

I thought it would be nice to get a hot cup of coffee. Actually, back then, I had a great metabolism. It was spiced hot chocolate with extra whipped cream and cinnamon. I remember more about my drink and listening to the snippets of peoples' lives as they were happening in that shop than I do about anything that I studied.

I learned that I couldn't study in coffee shops because I was so interested in the people. I loved to people-watch and I would get caught in their drama. I wouldn't interfere with their conversations, but I would imagine how those scenarios played out.

I also remember getting caught-up in my friends' drama during high school and college, and while I was a young parent. Probably because I was less of an observer and more of a participant at that time.

I think it's something about youth that makes us think that we should get involved in all situations and help to solve them. After a while, that gets exhausting, though. Being an observer, and taking a step away from drama, has helped me to keep my mouth shut more often while time has a chance to create a healing space.

Not everything needs me to find a solution for it. That is a calming thought to my nervous system. It's also nice to take on the role of the observer because it offers me the opportunity to develop compassion for a situation before casting judgement upon it.